


Not Quite Humor

by esperink



Series: Nonbinary Jeremy (the Not Quite series) [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, How Do I Tag, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Jeremy Heere, Title Subject to Change, Trans Michael is implied for like a sec, enbyphobia, i have too many WIPs help, in chapter 2 we nerd out about gender, they're at a gaming event, this isn't very good but i'm bad at editing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 04:28:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esperink/pseuds/esperink
Summary: In which Jeremy and Michael go to a gaming event.





	1. Chapter 1

“Well, then I identify as an attack helicopter!”

Jeremy flinched. He and Michael were at a gaming event, and a speaker was talking about inclusivity in games and the gaming community in general. Jeremy found it rather interesting and was enjoying it, until someone in a nearby seat made that comment.

Michael glanced over at Jeremy, noticing the other flinch, but Jeremy kept his eyes trained on the speaker.

He’d, on a whim, come out to Christine to weeks ago. She was trying to help Jeremy find a way to come out to Michael, but the main issue was Jeremy’s confidence. He was mainly worried Michael wouldn’t be accepting to something like this. They had been friends for over a decade and Jeremy didn’t want to lose him over it.

Maybe it would be easier to just not say anything to Michael, Jeremy hoped.

The speaker continued to speak, and the two boys in the nearby seats kept making comments. Jeremy’s hands curled, fingernails digging into his palms. He started chewing at his thumbnail in annoyance and anxiety.

Evidently, the rest of the audience was getting tired of the speaker getting interrupted, and started murmuring.

“You know there are only two genders, right?” one of the two boys called out to the speaker.

Jeremy sank lower in his seat. The speaker told the hecklers they could leave if they wanted, and started wrapping up their dialogue.

“Dude, shut up and let them speak,” Michael said when the troublemakers tried to start again. He was called a name but he only rolled his eyes. Jeremy felt somewhat hopeful. The speaker at the beginning had given their pronouns, and was feminine presenting, so it meant something to Jeremy for Michael to use the correct pronoun when referring to the speaker, even if Michael was unaware of his current predicament.

Jeremy almost sighed in relief when the boys finally quieted down, and the speaker finished talking. They answered any questions others might have had, and left the podium.

The security came by and gave the boys a warning about continuously interrupting.

Next, the event people split the audience into groups. There were going to be teams, and some sort of competition. Jeremy was relieved when he was allowed to stay with Michael, but a low whine started in his throat when he noticed their opponents were the troublemakers.

“Dude, are you okay?” Michael asked, glancing at Jeremy again.

“Yeah… I’m… fine,” Jeremy lied. He grabbed his assigned controller and sat with him. He tried tuning the others out, but it was difficult. They kept making similar jokes, and Jeremy tightened his grip on the controller.

Michael clearly didn’t believe him, and when Jeremy gave a shaky sigh, he asked what was wrong. Jeremy said, casually as he could, that he just didn’t really care for the jokes their opponents were making. Michael waited for a time that his participation wasn’t as important, and kept an eye on his friend, trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

Eventually, there was a break, and the moment it was announced, Jeremy dropped his controller (making sure he didn’t drop it too hard, of course) and stood, making his way towards the hall. It was so quick that Michael was surprised, because he’d expected that they’d have fun on this event, and Jeremy only quickly left when he was having a bad time.

Michael set his controller down and went to find his friend. “Jer?” he asked when he found him.

Jeremy was standing, leaning against the opposite wall of the hallway. His shaking hands were curled tightly into fists, and Michael swore he saw unshed tears in his eyes. Jeremy’s lips were pressed into a thin line.

“Dude,” Michael said, still confused as to why Jeremy was upset.

Jeremy again flinched. He usually didn’t care or mind too much the word ‘dude,’ seeing as people used it for everything: guys, girls, objects; but his exposure to the hecklers heightened his sensitivity for the time being.

Michael noticed his flinched and changed his wording. “Jeremy.” He thought for a moment. “Is… there a reason you’re not particularly enjoying their ‘humor’?” Calling it humor seemed almost like a joke itself, honestly. Jeremy only shrugged, so Michael continued. “Is the subject of their jokes something to someone close to you?” he tried.

“I guess you could say that,” Jeremy said quietly, and Michael almost had to strain to hear him.

“You wanna explain?”

Jeremy’s eyes quickly returned to the ground; he’d been staring at the wall behind Michael. “I’m—” He hesitated, then decided to just get it over with. “People like me are the subject of those jokes.”

“People like you?” Michael echoed, and Jeremy looked up to meet his eyes.

“Yeah,” Jeremy muttered. “They’re making fun of people’s… identity. And that’s… important to some people. It’s not cool to make fun of that.”

Michael nodded slowly, piecing things together. “So… you’re one of those people that… say they’re not a specific gender?”

“It’s—it’s more complicated than that,” Jeremy tried to explain. “It’s not a matter of ‘saying they’re not a specific gender’. I don’t… I don’t know how to explain.” He took a deep breath. “Point is, their ‘jokes’ are insults and they directly affect me.”

“You’re probably going to have to explain this later for me to better understand,” Michael said, “but should I… call you something else?’

“Jeremy’s still fine… ‘he’ is still fine… I don’t mind ‘they’, though. I’ve been thinking about it.” Christine had offered to try to use ‘they’ for Jeremy, to see if he liked it, and it was something he was open to.

“Want me to get security to do something about those guys?”

“Please do.”


	2. Chapter 2

The moment he and Michael arrived at the hotel room, Jeremy threw himself onto the bed, arms splayed out almost like he was trying to hug it. And if he could, he was sure he would, since it was soft and warm and nice after a long day.

Michael sat himself in a chair that was situated nearby. He was quiet, and Jeremy was quiet, eyes closed and breathing softly. Jeremy had made himself more comfortable on the bed, but it wasn’t too hard to know that he wasn’t sleeping. After 12 years of friendship, it became easy to tell whether or not either one of them were awake.

“The second Apocalypse of the Damned looks interesting,” Jeremy mentioned offhandedly, opening his eyes, though feeling tired. “I mean, it’s a bit late, but it looks interesting.”

Michael snorted. “If a bit late you mean a decade after the first one.”

Jeremy couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah.” He rolled over to stretch but ended up rolling off the bed with a thump. He let out a soft string of curses.

Michael smiled. “Nice one, dude,” he said, forgetting in that moment Jeremy’s heightened sensitivity. Jeremy didn’t flinch, as he was much calmer, but his tensing was noticeable. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Jeremy replied, still laying on the ground. “I usually don’t mind it. It’s just that today…” He trailed off and sighed, sitting up.

“Do you wanna maybe explain a thing or two?”

Jeremy almost forgot he wasn’t as direct with Michael as he was with Christine. And he wasn’t even particularly direct with Christine. He hadn’t even told her the specific word that described him. “Right… well,” Jeremy started, fidgeting again. “There are girls and boys, you know?” Jeremy wasn’t even sure he’d be explaining this right, but Michael nodded anyway, so he continued. “And there are… cis girls and cis boys… and trans girls and trans boys… which are those that are assigned the gender opposite at birth… But you already know that.” Jeremy shook his head; he’d almost forgotten  

Michael only nodded. He still wasn’t sure where Jeremy was going with this.

“And… people usually only think there’s two genders,” Jeremy continued. “As shown by those guys…” He scowled for only a moment at the thought of the hecklers. “But there’s more than that!” His sudden excitement cause Michael to jump in surprise. “There’s so many different things and genders… it’s all really interesting.”

“So what are you?” Michael asked, wincing when he realized that might sound insensitive.

“There’s a word for me…,” Jeremy said with a slight shrug. “I haven’t actually said it out loud yet. I don’t know why. I mean, the one I am is usually more of an umbrella term itself, but it’s the one that is most comfortable to describe myself with.” Realizing he might get off track, he finally said it. “Nonbinary. I’m nonbinary.”

“Nonbinary,” Michael confirmed. “Go on?” he prompted, partly wanting to know more, and partly to see Jeremy get excited again. It had been endearing.

“So, male and female, boy and girl, those are the binary genders. And then there are people who don’t identify with either of those. So they’re another subset of gender. And that’s nonbinary. That’s where I fall on the spectrum. Gender’s a spectrum. So is sexuality, I think, but I haven’t looked into that yet.”

“Okay.” Michael sat up, so that Jeremy knew he was paying attention. “And nonbinary is neither, right?”

Jeremy nodded. “Or it could be both,” he continued. “It’s basically anything that’s not fully boy or fully girl. There are those that a partially one of those, and that’s demigender. And then there’s those that are both; that’s bigender. And I guess genderfluid would be considered bigender, but it’s basically that sometimes you’re one gender and other times you’re a different one. There’s genderflux, which has more to do with intensity…” He looked up, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry, kind of got off track…” He hadn’t meant to keep talking.

“Nah, it’s alright,” Michael said. Jeremy’s excitement had been somewhat sweet. “It sounds interesting.”

Jeremy smiled at him. “There’s a lot about it,” he said, looking down. he had sat back on the bed, cross legged. He hummed softly. “Um…” He fidgeted.

“What is it, Jer?”

“I’ve been considering experimenting with my presentation. I brought something… mostly because we’re in a different city this weekend and it was unlikely we’d run into someone from school.”

Michael tilted his head. “What, did you bring a skirt or something?” When Jeremy bit his lip, Michael’s eyes widened. He hadn’t been serious, but apparently Jeremy was. “Hey, don’t worry,” Michael quickly added, seeing Jeremy tense up again. “I have a question or two, though, about your…” He trailed off, not sure exactly what to call it.

“Okay,” Jeremy said anxiously. “Go ahead.”

“When did you figure this out?”

“Some time last year… I think the beginning of October?” Jeremy said, and he noticed how his eyes averted at the mention of last year’s October. That was the month Jeremy had gotten his Squip and had started ignoring Michael to gain the attention of Christine.

“Okay,” Michael said, looking back at Jeremy after a moment of hesitation. “How did you figure this out?”

Jeremy didn’t say anything for a few minutes. He was trying to find the right words. He didn’t want to have to mention the Squip, since that had been a sensitive topic for both of them. He knew they’d eventually be alright talking about it, but they weren’t yet. “Uh… the Squip helped, actually,” Jeremy answered, unable to really explain without mentioning the Keanu Reeves look-alike.

“How do you know it wasn’t trying to like, mess with you?”

Jeremy bit his lip. He had considered that possibility, back in the beginning. When he was still trying to get used to the word that described him best. “I’ve felt like this for a while,” he said, shaking his head. He remembered watching the memories, and how he’d felt when he was younger.

“Huh. Okay,” Michael finally said, and he laid back on the shared hotel bed. He had moved to the bed while Jeremy was talking earlier.

“So... you’re okay with this?” Jeremy asked, fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“Jeremy, it’s all good,” Michael said, noticing his anxiousness. “You’re still my friend. I’m not going to end that over this. It might be a thing to get used to, though.”

Jeremy nodded. “Thanks… for trying to understand and being okay with it.”

Michael just smiled at him and pat him on the shoulder, before getting up to get ready for bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edit: 4/3: I edited this a little, took out a sentence or two because for a sec I forgot Trans Michael is basically canon in my verse and something said wouldn’t have made sense.


	3. Chapter 3

Jeremy was up before Michael. It was still dark, but he wasn’t able to fall back asleep. So he just stared at the ceiling for a bit, trying to not let himself think but failing. He started to fidget after a long while, but he didn’t want to end up waking up Michael so he moved from the bed to the bathroom.

He stared at himself in the mirror, rubbing his cheeks almost anxiously. He almost couldn’t believe that he’d told Michael yesterday. Not just about his identity, but about possibly wearing a skirt. Oh, what was he thinking?

He frowned at himself, and then scowled, and then he just started making faces at himself in the mirror. He would have groaned if he wasn’t being careful about waking up Michael.

He shook his head and decided to just take a shower. He went back into the room and grabbed his suitcase, dragging it back into the bathroom with himself. Jeremy opened it and took out his towel, a shirt, underwear, and socks. He set those on the counter, and then he picked up the skirt, staring at it for an unknown amount of time. It must have been a while, though, because after a bit he heard Michael stirring in the other room.

Jeremy put the skirt back into the suitcase and took out a pair of pants, closing the case. Pants were fine. Pants were safe. He set those with his other clothes before getting undressed and stepping into the shower. He focused on getting clean, not wanting to think and be anxious.

He was startled out of his task by a knock on the door. The water was cold now. He hadn’t actually noticed. He swore silently and turned off the water. He quickly dried himself off, got dressed, and opened the door.

“Took you long enough,” Michael said good-naturedly, and Jeremy blushed, but let him step in as he stepped out.

Jeremy busied himself with cleaning up any mess they had made in the room. They would have to check out soon. Well, not soon, but by noon. They wanted to meet up with Michael’s moms before then, so really they should check out by eleven.

He looked at the clock. It was nine o’clock. He was surprised at how much time he had wasted in the shower and bathroom. He decided to distract himself with some phone games.

Twenty minutes later he heard the shower turn off. Ten minutes after that, Michael came back into the room, clean, dressed, and mostly ready for the day. He started putting his things back into his own suitcase. Jeremy stayed silent until Michael spoke a few minutes later.

“So what’s this skirt look like?” It was mere curiosity, but Jeremy started to feel anxious again.

“Uh, it has a design,” Jeremy replied carefully. “Sort of like a galaxy? Space and stuff.” He got up off the bed and brought the suitcase into the room from the bathroom. He opened it and stared at it for a moment before pulling out the skirt. He stared at it again. “This.”

Michael noticed his shaky movements. “Are you okay?” he asked.

“This isn’t too weird?” Jeremy asked, his voice squeaky.

“What? No. Jeremy, it’s fine,” Michael replied. “And of course, you don’t have to if you don’t want to…”

“That’s the thing,” Jeremy muttered, his voice back a normal tone. “I need to do things. I have to make myself do things, or I require an outside force, or I’ll never do it. Like signing up for the play?” Michael nodded, following what he was saying. “I really wanted to sign up for it, even before I saw that Christine did. But I couldn’t, until she did.” Jeremy rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s not too weird,” Michael said again, trying to be encouraging. “And you can always change later. We’re taking our suitcases with us everywhere checking out anyway. We sort of have to.”

Jeremy nodded slowly, like he was thinking. “Okay,” he finally said. “I’ll be right back.” He picked up the skirt, which he had dropped, and walked to the bathroom one more time. when he got there, he stopped and stared at himself in the mirror again, but then he shook his head. “Don’t think about it,” he mumbled to himself. He quickly changed into the skirt, smoothing it out.

“Right,” he said to himself, holding in a breath. He folded up the pair of pants and walked back into the hotel room, bracing himself. “Okay,” he said, to get Michael’s attention.

Michael looked up from his cell phone. He gave him a thumbs up, and Jeremy smiled slightly in relief. He quickly distracted himself with phone games, again.

Some time later Michael got a phone call. When he hung up, he said, “That’s Ma and Ina. They want us to meet them outside.”

Jeremy was once again seized by anxiety. “O-okay,” he stammered, standing up too quickly and nearly stumbling.

“Jeremy.” Jeremy looked up. “You’ll be fine. I’m sure. My moms aren’t going to judge or anything, you know. And if anyone else says anything I can deal with them.”

Jeremy couldn’t help but smile. Michael could be protective at times. “I’ll be fine,” he whispered, repeating what Michael said to himself. “I’ll be fine.”

Michael pat his shoulder comforting before grabbing his suitcase. Jeremy grabbed his own, and they went down to the lobby. Jeremy trailed after his friend, subtly hiding behind him from the Mell mothers.

“Hey Ina, hey Ma,” Michael greeted his moms. His moms took their suitcases, and Jeremy didn’t miss the way Michael’s Ma’s gaze flickered to his skirt for a split second. Michael’s Ina, however, didn’t bat an eye.

“Who’s ready for brunch?” Michael’s Ina instead asked, looking at her son and his friend. The two teens nodded, somewhat eagerly. They hadn’t eaten yet.

Jeremy was able to relax when it was clear nobody was going to say anything about his outfit. He made conversation with Michael and his mothers, occasionally fiddling with his skirt, but not nervously so. He slid into the booth seat next to Michael, feeling pretty pleased.

“I think I can do it,” Jeremy said when they arrived back home. “maybe next week. But I think I can do it.”

Michael smiled. “You sure can, buddy.”

This was, of course, before Monday, when Jake showed them a ‘funny’ video featuring humor similar to that of the hecklers at the gaming event.

Jeremy deflated, and Michael shook his head at Jake. “Not cool, man.” Jake looked confused.

 


End file.
